humor

"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."

"The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, 'All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions."

"I'm a novelist first, and I wrote a bunch of books, and everything I write, I just find people are more interesting when there's an element of humor to it."

"You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be there, but I’ll also be late."

"Either you go to America with Mrs. Van Hopper or you come home to Manderley with me.""Do you mean you want a secretary or something?""No, I'm asking you to marry me, you little fool."

"If I didn't try to eavesdrop on every bus ride I take or look for the humor when I go for a walk, I would just be depressed all the time."

"Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?"Harry interrupted again."So he can sneak up on people,"said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking..."

"Anxiety's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you very far."

"Humor, humility, and, of course, honesty, all are qualities that work in public and cultural diplomacy."

"Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis."

"I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful one-hundred percent!"

"In politics, stupidity is not a handicap."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."

"He specialized in the murder of dreams, Hazel Grace..."

"Peter to Austin:"Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid. Which makes me think you must have one 24/7."

"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."

"I'll go,"he said."And that's safer because?""I'm a guy.""Right, and having a pair of dingle balls makes you invincible how?"

"I'm a big fan of independent girls who are strong-willed, vocal in their opinions, and have a sense of humor."

"My stories are very somber, so I think I need the comic ingredient. Besides, life has so much humor."

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."