#Alcohol

"...and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, 'That was fine'. And your life is a long line of fine."

"Love burns. Whiskey burns. George Burns. What do all three have in common? They’re all dead to me."

"She likes her wine white, and that’s how I like my clam chowder. So chuggable!"

"There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers."

"That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen."

"Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!"

"It is sad that people need alcohol to make them happy."

"Sex parties, alcohol and drugs lost their appeal to Sven after a while. Music never did, in his continual search for that sober connection--intimacy with one person over a long period of time, as opposed to periods of intimacy with a bunch of random faces."

"I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer."

"My mind may be sober, but my confidence is high!"

"As the ice melted, we fell in love—slowly. I just wish the ice were in two glasses of vodka, and not surrounding our bodies."

"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."

"She brews a bruise on my heart, and drinks it like a beer. She calls it love, but she would, because she’s drunk on my torment."

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."

"I can hold my alcohol, just like I’m a wine bottle. I dance as fluid as glass, and my heart shatters just as easily."

"I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those of an old man. Still, the taste of a nipple is genderless."

"At church, during communion, they give out free wine. Whoa! Talk about a great place to drink and meet women."

"The naked truth is anything but naked. But it will be soon enough, if I keep giving it alcohol."

"When I die, remember to remove my body from the cooler before you start making the hunch punch. But by all means, do get drunk on my memory."

"There was a tacit understanding between them that 'liquor helped'; growing more miserable with every glass one hoped for the moment of relief."