#Funny

"There is nothing more awful, insulting, and depressing than banality."

"I like to think my sense of humor is sort of smart and dumb at the same time. I like to work on multiple levels - smart and dumb, funny and sad, profound and mundane, cynical and hopeful."

"Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead."

"Believe me, It would be better if we didn't meet again. Go back to school. Go back to your life. And next time they ask you, say no. Killing is for grown-ups and you're still a child."

"Love is like a river flowing through your heart. I’ll bring the boat, if you bring the bridge."

"If it gets laughs, it's funny."

"With Portlandia, I don't think our intention is always to find something funny. Sometimes the humor comes from taking something really seriously. We're okay with making somebody feel uncomfortable or uneasy."

"Can you be a girl for a few seconds?""I'm always a girl"I frown."You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girl"I twirl my hair around my finger. "Kay."

"The trick to looking ageless is drinking 55 gallons of #FlashBangWowFuzz every 4-6 hours. 24-hour discounts available."

"Okay, I'll wear the Bite Me shirt,[...]It'll be my standard response to any­one who tries to hit on me."I giggle. "Someone can come up and be like 'Hey babe, what's your sign?' and I'll just point to my shirt."Rayne laughs appreciatively and tosses me the tank top. "Of course they might think you're pointing to your boobs in a 'have at 'em, big boy' kind of way."

"I went out to eat on a restaurant’s opening night. It was packed! I guess people heard I’d be dining there and came to adore me."

"Any good humor is sophomoric. 'Sophomoric' is the liberal word for funny."

"If anything attacked us, we could just panic at it until it went away."

"Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory."

"Love has a certain weightlessness to it, much as my meaty penis would on the moon."

"I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones."

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."

"Grandpa always used to make me ride in the bed of his pickup truck, so he could keep up his conversations with the 100-pound sack of manure he kept buckled up in the passenger seat. Grandpa said all they ever talked about was grass, but I know Grandpa used to do a little flirting, too."

"A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween."

"I just started working the graveyard shift at the cemetery. Come to think of it, every shift at the cemetery is the graveyard shift."