Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I morphed from a fly to a flower to a butterfly, which is like a combination flower and fly. I thought I was in love, but I was merely asleep."

"Prophesies are dark and don’t need a flashlight to illuminate. I’m a bring my own lighthouse kind of lover."

"Put your middle finger and your thumb together. And make it snappy."

"I chased the chaste, and they got scared and scurried. Then I stood still and loved where I was at, and all approached without fear of reproach."

"Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises."

"White letters plus white paper equals invisibility. Just because you can’t see my love for you, doesn’t mean I didn’t write about it."

"I drink like a fish, and I swim in my thirst. I’m so parched for her love that I think I may drown in my desire."

"The pink sunset reminds me of her, and the calm water matches the calm that images of her bring to my heart."

"My cabinet was made by hand. My applause is also made by hand, and I stood there clapping the whole time the carpenter was making my cabinet."

"My love is powdered sunshine. Just add water. (Warning: Do NOT attempt to snort it or distribute as a healthy cocaine substitute.)"

"The Book of Life, I’m still writing it—both literally and literarily. So far I’ve written the Table of Contents. Right now it’s more of a coffee table."

"Love is a process, either growing or shrinking, but never stagnant. My love for you was David, and now it is Goliath. Also, my love for you was Goliath, and now it is David."

"I’m so shy that if you played “Guess The Mannequin” with me and two mannequins, you’d pick me, because I’m the quiet one. Still, it’s important for me to get out and meet people, even if that means hanging around department stores wearing the latest fashions."

"I love letting her know how much she means to me. A love in secret is but a shadow that’s cold and lonely."

"Wisdom equals knowledge plus courage. You have to not only know what to do and when to do it, but you have to also be brave enough to follow through."

"My knowledge is mine to use as I see fit. But I’m way too out of shape to see fit."

"I just sprayed cologne on my hand and then pet the back of my cat's head while he slept, and he woke up so confused, trying to sniff behind his neck and all around wondering what sweet attack he was under."

"She moves through my memory the way the gentle river waves turn the setting sun's rays into a nostalgic light show."

"If I found 20 dollars on the ground, I’d be willing to bet I’d find someone in desperate need of money that I could give it to. And I’d bet 20 dollars, so even after finding and giving away 20 dollars, I’d have made 20 dollars."

"I like wearing a blindfold while watching movies, so that I can focus on the dialogue. My favorite flicks are the silent movies."