Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"If it’s the last kiss, we’d better make it last. I hope you don’t have anywhere to be, because I have the rest of my life free."

"I can't throw away cologne because that is Nostalgia in a Bottle, the scent of yesterday, and it reminds me of her more clearly than her picture."

"I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing."

"Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses."

"Lying in bed listless, I wrote a list. I then had a list, but I was still listless. Perhaps because my list was of all the things I love, and every entry was you."

"I have a Rubik’s Cube for a heart, and my love for you is no puzzle. Through twists and spins, life can only get more colorful."

"I would argue that unless the two people are in love, all sex is bad sex, because why eat cotton candy when you can have edible clouds? Sure, it seems sweet at the time, but that’s just a carnival and carnal rush and wears off quickly. But love adds an extra dimension that takes an earthy thing like sex and makes it absolutely heavenly."

"Older doesn't necessarily mean wiser. Some trees live to be hundreds of years old, and what the fuck do they know?"

"I am so extreme that I do parkour like a caterpillar gyrates. My movements are slow and methodical, but eventually my free running takes flight. I love the same exact way, and my romance has the essence of a butterfly."

"Behold, the number five is at hand. Grab it and shake and harness the power of networking."

"The word long is short, and so is the word short, but why is the word love as long as long? Shouldn’t it be longer?"

"I see two women, one in a reflection in a window, and the other I see through the window, and it's like I'm looking at both my past and future at the same time."

"To wait on love is to tie a weight on your heart and slowly drown. Why sink when you can fly by freely giving love away?"

"Silver is an investment. It’s like a second-place future. Makes me want to create Michael Phelps-flavored ice cream and eat a whole tub."

"Relationships are like water. If you grab tight, clamping and clenching to gain control, you’ll lose it all. Instead, cup your hand gently, so she feels free to drink until her thirst is quenched."

"She makes my heart melt. There is a limited supply of sips, so grab a straw and start slurping while you can."

"The Sacred and The Scared. Which of these two categories does your love fall under? I should write a love poem on a rolled-up scroll so you’d know which one categorizes mine."

"My coffee cup is empty. Why don't you pour your love in and wake up my soul?"

"Relationships are like water. If you grab tight, clamping and clenching to gain control, you’ll lose it all. Instead, cup your hand gently, so she feels free to drink until her thirst is quenched."

"Hard at work? I’ll give you a hand—my right hand. It’s a handshake, for networking and encouragement purposes. Keep it up!"