Mark Twain

"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well."

"If books are not good company, where shall I find it?"

"Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it."

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."

"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."

"The secret to getting ahead is getting started."

"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."

"When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain."

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."

"What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey."

"Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else."

"Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."

"Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven."

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."

"I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone."

"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."