funny

"My love is expansive. Your love is expensive."

"You know, poets and songwriters have long known that people like repetition. You know, poets and songwriters have long known that people like repetition. I guess when I say people, I mean everyone but my Grandfather. He hated anything that was so monotonous as repetition. That’s why he loathed walking so much. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, and on and on."

"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings."

"They should make bubblegum that tastes like mashed potatoes. You know, for lovers."

"Because he has the best equipment in the City and he knows how to use it!"

"I apologized to her once for spending less time with her, but she blew it off. "You're in love. That makes you actually kind of boring to people who aren't in love. You know, the sane ones."

"I had a dream about you last night... you kept meowing at people and licking yourself it was not unlike you normally."

"There is safety in numbers. And science. Clone your way to being safe. Nobody can protect you like you. And you and you and you."

"How are you feeling?"I leaned away from him. "Gross."Aiden frowned. "Gross?""I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face in days. Don't come near me."He laughed. "Alex, come on.""Seriously, I'm gross."I put my hand over my mouth.Ignoring my protests, he leaned over and brushed my string hair back. "You're as beautiful as always, Alex."I stared at him. He must not get out much."

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."

"Leap out the window, my inner Tigress cried. You aren't ready to face such a powerful Tiger. I frowned. I thought a true Tigress never backed down from a fight. Don't you know anything? When she's in heat, she avoids everything male. Now run!"

"You've brushed your teeth,"He says, staring at me."I used your toothbrush."His lips quirk up in a half smile. "Oh Anastasia Steele, what am I going to do with you?"

"Vic knelt by Lucas's side. 'You look like crap, by the way.''Thanks for breaking it to me gently.' Lucas took a deep breath, then groaned."

"Working for Mab now, are you, Wolfman?"he smirked. "Like a good little attack dog? Will you also roll over and beg if she asks?"

"I certainly hadn't expected to walk away from today's trip with joint custody of a miniature dragon."

"There is nothing more awful, insulting, and depressing than banality."

"Careful with the accusations of insanity, oh my lady whose home is a tower with windows of brick, all for the sake of some skinny-ankled, laugh-prone boy of a khan."

"If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now."

"It's always been this way. There were rumors about me even before I was born. It's why my mother never calls me Sobachka. She says it makes me sound like a mongrel."My heart gave a little pang at that. I'd been called plenty of names growing up."I like mongrels,"I said. "They have cute floppy ears.""My ears are very dignified."

"I've often wondered what makes a relationship last. I guess the best answer is it's the one right after the next to the last one."