funny

"I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?"

"Fifteen men on the Dead Man's Chest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil had done for the rest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!"

"What? Quinn's one of them? I just thought he was an a*shole!"

"I want to keep a human mouth on my coffee table. It’ll be a great conversation starter."

"I've been trying to start a garage band for over a decade now, but father won't move his car."

"Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy."

"All your life, you will be faced with a choice. You can choose love or hate…I choose love."

"I always appear smarter when I dress up in my giant nipple costume. I know this because I'll overhear people say things like, 'At least he's not a complete boob."

"Juan gave Bones the most admiring look he’d bestowed on him yet. “You talked her into going without panties all these years? Madre de Dios, now that’s impressive. I could learn a great deal from you, amigo."

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

"Most kids start talking by age two. I didn't say a word until I was twelve. I was just angry and defiant I guess. My first word wasn't "Mom"or "Dad."It was "No."

"I can’t define what love is. That’s like eating a pancake with a waffle instead of a fork. But you know it when you feel it, like petting a cat wearing a synthetic fur coat."

"Loki'd!"

"To answer your question, you want me because I'm made of awesome."

"Everything's amazing right now, and nobody's happy."

"Zoey~ 'Listen to me, whinning about money and a scarf. Ah, hell! I'm starting to sound like Aphrodite.'Stark~ 'If you turn into Aprodite I'm going to stab myself.'Zoey~ 'If I turn into Aprodite, stab me first.'Stark~ 'Deal.'Zoey~ 'Deal."

"Don’t put your wand there, boy! ... Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!"

"I’ve got a way with love. Away with love."

"She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment. Didn't apply to Calypso. Obviously."

"Barzûl!"