humor

"They should make bubblegum that tastes like mashed potatoes. You know, for lovers."

"As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway."

"Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness."

"Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana."

"Humor and laughter - not necessarily derogatory derision - are my pet tools. This may come from my general philosophy of never taking the world too seriously - for fear of dying of boredom."

"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

"It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious."

"Nice dress. Take it off."

"Two empty chairs are not a good use of space. Fill them up with love."

"As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone."

"Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!"

"Is it easier to get you to do what I want with a fist to your face, or a gentle pat on the back and a handshake? Let this be a lesson in power."

"Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do."

"A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself."

"I think hip-hop does a very good job of infusing comedy and humor and wit into music, a lot more than other genres."

"No adolescent ever wants to be understood, which is why they complain about being misunderstood all the time."

"I match my pajamas to my comforter so I can disappear into sleep. I’m camouflaged into noonexistence, where I don’t wake up until 12:00 PM."

"I try to avoid having thoughts. They lead to other thoughts, and—if you’re not careful—those lead to actions. Actions make you tired. I have this on rather good authority from someone who once read it in a book."

"I want a 100% kind of relationship, and I’m willing to give it 50%."