humor

"I don’t eat Sloppy Joes. I eat Tidy Josephs."

"Along with a sense of humor, my songs have to be sincere, and they have to be sung from a position of inner conviction."

"There are two MFA programs here at the University of Texas, and I read on the jury of both of them. And it's amazing to me how many really talented young writers seem to fear humor."

"I'm not for gratuitous nudity, but if there's humor, I don't have a problem."

"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."

"Some major writers have a huge impact, like Ayn Rand, who to my mind is a lousy fiction writer because her writing has no compassion and virtually no humor. She has a philosophical and economical message that she is passing off as fiction, but it really isn't fiction at all."

"I had a dream about you. Our relationship faded from red to white, and somewhere in the middle, in the pink zone, I told you I loved you and you returned it. However, at white, our relationship went black and I sought red in the arms of another woman."

"People always ask me if I’m into sports, and I say, “Well, isn’t writing a sport? If you’re doing it right, and you have a deadline, you should be sweating."

"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"

"Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that's beautiful."

"The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?"

"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed."

"I never worry about people not taking my work seriously as a result of the humor. In the end, the comic's best trick is the illusion that comedy is effortless. That people imagine what he's doing is easy is an occupational hazard."

"My father was an electrical engineer who worked at Westinghouse in Pittsburgh. When I was growing up, my mother wrote humor columns for the local paper. She was the Erma Bombeck of Murrysville, Pa."

"You catch more flies with honey than you do with chopsticks. Let this be a lesson in love."

"When you’re embarrassed, you turn red. When I blush, I turn plaid. I network at kilt conventions, so even if I say something awkward I still look cool."

"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common."

"She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts."

"I'm a novelist first, and I wrote a bunch of books, and everything I write, I just find people are more interesting when there's an element of humor to it."

"That does it,"said Jace. "I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year.""Why?"Isabelle said."So you can look up 'fun.' I'm not sure you know what it means."