humor

"The sides of buildings should be like the tops of lakes. I’d fish through your window hoping to catch a smile."

"Based on the questions we both answered, we’re a 0% love match. That means we’re 100% compatible, once I enlighten her to the correct perspective on life."

"Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called."

"Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up."

"It’s easier to hide your smoking habit on a foggy day. Let that be a lesson for you and your secret lover."

"Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before."

"If Marilyn Monroe was alive right now, what would she be doing?'Clawing at the roof of her coffin."

"I'm looking at some comedic horror films because I have often been accused of being too dark. I'm not dark, not compared with 'Saw' or anything like that. So I'm looking at live-action horror films, but not slasher ones - ones that have humor and maybe some social satire."

"Using no control and using humor will build a relationship and make a dent to where the client puts the counselor in their quality world and then begins to relate and seek out the counselor. Effective therapy begins with the acceptance of the therapist into the client's quality world."

"I wear a glove to honor all the men who have given me a hand. And to think, out of all those men, they only had one hand. No wonder I never get any high-fives."

"I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness."

"My uncle worked in emergency wards dealing with people who came in with terrible injuries. He talked about the sketch shows they would put on to lighten the atmosphere. You often find this sense of grim humor in hospitals. The injuries people are suffering are ghastly. You have to laugh at something or you'd otherwise cry."

"I grew a garden in her heart. There was plenty of space for flowers, because her heart was completely empty of love."

"Number of empty Ben & Jerry's containers: 3 -- two mint chocolate cookie, one plain vanilla. (Who buys plain vanilla ice cream from Ben & Jerry's, anyway? Is there a greater waste?)"

"It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch."

"Telephone pole wires get in the way of great photos. Communication always gets in the way of communication."

"Yes, vanity is a weakness indeed. But pride - where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation."

"You look disappointed to see me, Zach,"Macey teased. "Don't you like my jacket?"

"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road."