humor

"I love you the way ice melts in vodka—slowly, seamlessly, and invisibly. It’s a feel-good feeling whether you see it or not."

"Right,"Sadie said. "And Set will just stand there calmly while I read him to death."

"Have you ever had a girlfriend, Kenji?""What?"He looks mortally offended. "Do I look like the kind of guy who's never had a girlfriend? Have you even met me?"

"If you say ‘we’re in this together,’ I’m going to hurl."

"I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that."

"I’m addicted to warm Thanksgiving bird meat, but I should just quit cold turkey. To me, the beginning of December is like leftover November."

"The thing I hate the most about advertising is that it attracts all the bright, creative and ambitious young people, leaving us mainly with the slow and self-obsessed to become our artists.. Modern art is a disaster area. Never in the field of human history has so much been used by so many to say so little."

"If you want to catch beasts you don't see every day,You have to go places quite out of the way,You have to go places no others can get to.You have to get cold and you have too get wet, too."

"I'm interested in humor, and greeting cards just happen to be a perfect medium for my message. They're accessible to everyone, and thanks to all the advances that have been made by environmentally conscientious printers, I can get my message across while keeping my carbon footprint relatively small."

"Try not to have a good time...this is supposed to be educational."

"I still don't belong to anyone - I am mine."

"There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God."

"Explanations exist; they have existed for all time; there is always a well-known solution to every human problem—neat, plausible, and wrong."

"You can knock on a deaf man's door forever."

"What I'm expecting is for you to behave like the gentleman I always thought you were."

"I put the sing in single—especially when I’m in the shower. Does anybody have any requests they’d like to shout out while the water’s getting hot? As always, silence all cell phones during the duration of my performance."

"Rule number 2 - don't listen to me!"Arriane laughed, "I'm certifiably insane!"

"I love a girl with a sense of humor. Someone who can make me laugh and that I can get along with and talk with and who is just sweet overall, inside and out."

"Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty.Chocolate isn't like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant.And it always feels good."

"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."