humor

"Do you mean ter tell me,"he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy—this boy!—knows nothin' abou'—about ANYTHING?"Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad."I know some things,"he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff."

"I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone."

"Personal branding is crucial in today's society. Just remember to wait until the metal is red hot before pressing it into your flesh."

"It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what."[I saw hate in a graveyard -- Stephen Fry, The Guardian, 5 June 2005]"

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."

"I don’t want to develop—I want to evelop, because it’s more positive. Similarly, would you rather your love evolve or devolve? That’s why if you need me, I’ll be on the sofa trying to evelop myself as a person."

"Graffiti is one of the few tools you have if you have almost nothing. And even if you don't come up with a picture to cure world poverty you can make someone smile while they're having a piss."

"Just wait until he figures out I shut him out of his slut hut."

"People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN'T do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort."

"It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive."

"Find something useful to do with your morning,' she thought to him as she neared her chambers. 'Do something heroic in front of an audience. Knock a child into a river while no one's looking and then rescue him."

"Mistletoe,"said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry's head. He jumped out from under it. "Good thinking,"said Luna seriously. "It's often infested with nargles."

"It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself."

"As if you could kill time without injuring eternity."

"My legacy would be that you don't have to give up anything. You can be chic but have a sense of humor, you can be sexy but comfortable, you can be timeless but fresh."

"We're actors — we're the opposite of people!"

"If you want me, you’d better hurry. Act now, supplies are limited."

"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess."

"Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully."

"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."