humor

"I like a man who can be a real friend, has a good sense of humor, a good pair of shoes and a healthy gold card."

"I still can't believe,"Michael said, sotto voce, "that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire."

"Don't Panic."

"I arose like a rose, and this is how I knew I was in love. In the garden of life, I’m better off in your neighbor’s yard."

"On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me."

"Funny is a good foil. Humor is illuminating, and it also gives you power."

"Think, think, think."

"Because teachers, no matter how kind, no matter how friendly, are sadistic and evil to the core."

"Sex had been amazing, but it wasn't a magical cure for everything. Damn. Somewhere along the way, I'd picked up common sense."

"You like them,"I realized.Noah's eyebrows lifted in question."Like as people.""As opposed to...furniture?""They're my PARENTS.""That is my understanding, yes."

"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."

"So that's little Scorpious. Make sure you beat him in every test, Rosie. Thank god you've inherited your mother's brains."

"The more women sit down and write something in a woman's voice for a woman, they more you'll see women in comedy because gender doesn't define sense of humor. Imagination and intelligence and perspective do."

"We?"Simon looked at him in disbelief. "Are you ever going home?""What, bored with my company already?" "Let me ask you something,"Simon said. "Do you find me fascinating to be around?""What was that?"Jace said. "Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue with whatever mesmerizing thing you were saying."

"The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special."

"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."

"I love new clothes. If everyone could just wear new clothes everyday, I reckon depression wouldn’t exist anymore."

"Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out."

"There is a collective as well as an individual humor inclining peoples to sadness or cheerfulness, making them see things in bright or somber lights. In fact, only society can pass a collective opinion on the value of human life; for this the individual is incompetent."

"Caring about someone isn't complicated. It isn't easy. But it isn't complicated, either. Kinda like lifting the engine block out of a car."