humor

"I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments."

"I don't mean to be rude—"he began, in a tone that threatened rudeness in every syllable."Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often,"Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely."

"My dad was a very funny man - he's the one who taught me life would be awfully hard without humor! I'm sure his Irish wit in some way influenced my decision to become an actress."

"I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed - or worse, expelled. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed."

"We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor."

"Sometimes when I try to make jokes or have a sense of humor in interviews, it doesn't go over very well. But Twitter made my life easier in this way that I didn't expect. It would have taken probably 10 times as long for people to accept my voice and my sense of humor if I didn't have Twitter."

"Ask me if I sparkle and I’ll kill you where you stand.” (Bones)"

"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."

"If you fail to report within the next 12 hours. you will be terminated. If you attack any humans, you will be terminated. If you attempt to remove the tracking device, you will be terminated. We look forward to working with you."

"I like very dry humor. I don't like things that are over the top. I like subtlety. I like things that are nonchalant. I like characters that are sort of monotone and based in dark comedy."

"I’d have been dead a long time ago if not for my friends, one of whom had just jumped off the cliff after me. I’d have been a lot more appreciative if he hadn’t pushed me first."~Cassandra Palmer"

"Soap?""School of America in Paris"he explains. "SOAP".Nice. My father sent me here to be cleansed."

"Life is like a box of chocolates."

"Your as slow as a fat kid on crutches"

"Harry,"Bob drawled, his eye lights flickering smugly, "what you know about women, I could juggle."

"If golf wasn't enjoyable and there wasn't a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it."

"Well, spit on my empty grave--if it ain't the attack of the Disney princesses!"

"I think a cool #startup would be a company that makes Finish line tape, for marathons. In the long run, it could be very profitable."

"If you approach Cannes with a sense of humor, nothing is that bad. You have to take it for what it is; otherwise, it's silly."

"...crackers..."a voice breathed out nehind us, "yesss..."Both of us turned, watching as Chubs twisted around in his seat and settled back down, still fast asleep. I pressed a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. Liam rolled his eyes, smiling. "He dreams about food,"he said. "A lot."