humor

"The salesman said the sale was happening because all the gizmos in the store had to be liquidated. It was a lot of solidfluid, and I would have bought something, but the only thing I was thirsty for was her love."

"I always thought the biggest failing of Americans was their lack of irony. They are very serious there! Naturally, there are exceptions... the Jewish, Italian, and Irish humor of the East Coast."

"He smiled in a way that made me want to kiss him right on the spot. Or the lips. Whichever was closer."

"Negative humor is forgotten immediately. It's the stuff that makes us feel better about our lives that lives long. Much more satisfying. Enter children's books."

"I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-""It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule."

"There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon)"

"She would've been a good woman,"said The Misfit, "if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life."

"I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave."

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know."

"Dead. Never been that before. Not even once."

"My mom taught me the power of love. I learned to focus on the long-term big picture from my father. His sense of humor and light-hearted approach always make me smile. My husband is a pivotal anchor in my life. His influence encourages me to be independent and take risks."

"Professors of literature collect books the way a ship collects barnacles, without seeming effort."

"It's an amusing idea to some, this feminism thing - this audacious notion that women should be able to move through the world as freely, and enjoy the same inalienable rights and bodily autonomy, as men. At least, that's the impression given when feminism and feminists are all too often the targets of lazy humor."

"Quarterbacks shouldn’t leave the pocket, because that’s where the money is. Every politician knows this."

"The canvas isn’t empty. It’s full of whatever you imagine it to be full of. My art is so conceptual that not only do I not tell, but I don’t even show. All I do is sign the canvas and try to sell it."

"If we went by the world's definition of who I'm supposed to be because I look weird... 'Well, surely, this guy can't have a productive life, surely, he doesn't have a sense of humor. Surely, he can't love life.' We stereotype people in this world. And so... if the world thinks you're not good enough, it's a lie, you know. Get a second opinion."

"Solutions-oriented campaigning with a little passion and a little humor; I think that will go a long way. I think people are desperate for it."

"I'm not for gratuitous nudity, but if there's humor, I don't have a problem."

"Katniss: 'What about you? Ive seen you in the market. You can lift hundred pound bags of flour'. I snap at himTell him that. Thats not nothing.Peeta: Yes and Im sure the arena will be full of bags of flour for me to chuck at people."

"I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that reads, “Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman."