#Drink

"I drank so much booze I was bamboozled. Alcohol makes my mind as discombobulated as love makes my heart. I’d sure appreciate it if you poured me a large glass of romance."

"I like coffee tables. I’m into drinkable furniture."

"I love when my cat crushes his forehead into mine like my skull is an empty beer can. But it’s not—there’s still a sip left."

"I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?"

"Though it comes from her throat, I drink the sound of her voice. Her I love yous dehydrate me, because they leave me thirsting for more."

"Snow is not microwave friendly. In fact, snow is not too friendly at all, unless you first buy it a few beers. Then it’s just downright slutty."

"The naked truth is anything but naked. But it will be soon enough, if I keep giving it alcohol."

"Love burns. Whiskey burns. George Burns. What do all three have in common? They’re all dead to me."

"Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness."

"At church, during communion, they give out free wine. Whoa! Talk about a great place to drink and meet women."

"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"

"I just invented a device that eliminates vice. It looks like a bottle of booze, only it’s empty, because I just drank it."

"Beer has that Olympic medal color,” Rot replied, “but does it have a winning taste? I’d hardly call silver a champion flavor. No, I’ll stick to my red wine."

"Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses."

"I'm sober. Yessiree, I quit drinking. I haven't had a beer in four hours. Now I just need some coffee and to get drunk on love poetry."

"Ink is drinkable and printable. The words “I love you” don’t take up much space, but they can quench your thirst forever."

"My acquaintances aren’t worth the aqua I drink after they leave me thirsting for something more meaningful. I don’t want refillable relationships—I want connections so deep they are black abysses."

"Networking is more quality, and less quantity. It’s better to form a solid connection with one new person, than a liquid connection with ten. You don’t want people to think you drink too much."

"I used the boos, and not the booze, as motivation. That led to applause, which I drank up like an alcoholic. I need a refill."

"...and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, 'That was fine'. And your life is a long line of fine."