#drinking

"Water can be as hard as ice and as soft as fog, which is why my love is so drinkable, because it is fluid and forgiving. It's easy to love until there's nothing left. Eventually, the water runs out, the ice melts, and the fog fades into an abyss.-Jarod Kintz and Karen Quan"

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

"Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large."

"They should make cell phones that are dishwasher safe. My cup runneth over—especially since both our drinks are in one glass because I’m too lazy to load the shotgun."

"If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon."

"I didn’t give her my full attention. The bottle was half full when she started drinking. Still, from it she grew distracted, so my farming technique worked."

"I like grape juice. Fermented grape juice—wine. It’s the drink of choice for champions. I know because I asked a bunch of winners."

"I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom."

"Ink is drinkable and printable. The words “I love you” don’t take up much space, but they can quench your thirst forever."

"If I could convert books to wine, I’d start with The Grapes of Wrath. I’ve never read it, but maybe tonight I’ll be thirsty enough."

"Networking is more quality, and less quantity. It’s better to form a solid connection with one new person, than a liquid connection with ten. You don’t want people to think you drink too much."

"At church, during communion, they give out free wine. Whoa! Talk about a great place to drink and meet women."

"I have liquid lips, and my kisses are smooth as wine. Why pour you a glass when you can drink from the bottle?"

"Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol."

"Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I goTo heal my heart and drown my woeRain may fall, and wind may blowAnd many miles be still to goBut under a tall tree will I lieAnd let the clouds go sailing by"

"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."

"I just invented a device that eliminates vice. It looks like a bottle of booze, only it’s empty, because I just drank it."

"I love when my cat crushes his forehead into mine like my skull is an empty beer can. But it’s not—there’s still a sip left."

"The writer walks out of his workroom in a daze. He wants a drink. He needs it. It happens to be a fact that nearly every writer of fiction in the world drinks more whisky than is good for him. He does it to give himself faith hope and courage. A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom. He has no master except his own soul and that I am sure is why he does it."

"To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems"