#humor

"Even now, despite Angeline's watchfulness, she'd occasionally oscillate between random topics, like how shepherd's pie wasn't a pie at all and why it was pointless for her to take class in typing when technology would eventually develop robot companions to do it for us."

"Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile."

"Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling."

"You look angry,"he said."You put me on hold.""For a very good reason.""You put me,"she said very, very slowly, "on hold."

"I past another telkhine, who was so startled he dropped his Lil' Demons lunch box. I left him alive - partly because he had a cool lunch box..."

"Some people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time."

"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them."

"love make us poets, and the approach of death should make us philosophers."

"Objective Journalism Foreign journalists will always compromise objectivity to preserve relationships that give them better access."

"What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with your brother?""Because only Jace can piss someone off that much."

"Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk."

"Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement."

"It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day."

"That's brain tissue. How can you-?"Claire shut her mouth, fast. "Never mind. I don't think I wanna know.""Truly, I think that's best. Please take it."He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. "I'm giving you a piece of my mind.""I so wish you hadn't said that."

"Cleverness vs. Crime [10w] Being caught's the only difference between cleverness and crime."

"My childhood, adolescence and high school days are unusually important. If there has ever been a time that I developed a uniqueness and sense of humor and the ability to organize, it was then. In those early days, I developed the skills that gave me a certain degree of success in American politics."

"And, she was able to tell herself with some satisfaction, the man in question - one Colin Bridgerton - felt precisely the same way........His earth shook, his heart leaped, and Penelope knew without a doubt that his breath was taken away as well. For a good ten seconds.Falling off a horse tended to do that to a man."

"All my failures as a human being I blame on my father. Life is about accepting responsibility, and it’s time my father started being held accountable for my deficiencies."

"Hey, our hair's the same color,"I said, eying us side by side in the mirror."Sure is, girlfriend."Eric grinned at me."

"We love ourselves notwithstanding our faults, and we ought to love our friends in like manner."