#humor

"Celebrity [10w] Celebrity seeking is like love or war: NO HOLDS BARRED."

"Maine State Motto Dirigo. [10]You won't find no niggers here, eh."

"I rode an elevator with a guy who was whistling the tune of 'this is the song that never ends'. Putting that on me? Come on dude.."

"Am I about to discover where you, Ron, and Hermione disappeared to while you were supposed to be in the back room of Fred and George's shop?''How did you...?''Harry, please. You're talking to the man who raised Fred and George."

"HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There arefour kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, andpraiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slainwhether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is foradvantage of the lawyers."

"Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face."

"The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom."

"Room service? Send up a larger room."[A Night at the Opera]"

"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."

"For others, in spite of myself, from myself."

"Don't ever trust men with good intentions. They'll always disappoint you."Leo"

"Knowledge vs. Wisdom [10w] + [10w] Knowledge is the understanding that you are what you eat. Wisdom is not eating a pussy with hair on it."

"I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regrettedmost of them, but never the potatoes that went with them."

"Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst."

"Jane's stories are too sensible. Then Diana puts too much murders into hers. She says most of the time she doesn't know what to do with the people so she kills them off to get rid of them."-Anne Shirley"

"It takes a lot of time to be a genius. You have to sit around so much, doing nothing, really doing nothing."

"Beer has that Olympic medal color,” Rot replied, “but does it have a winning taste? I’d hardly call silver a champion flavor. No, I’ll stick to my red wine."

"[My mom's] funny that way, celebrating special occasions with blue food. I think it's her way of saying anything is possible. Percy can pass seventh grade. Waffles can be blue. Little miracles like that."

"I have lightning and wind powers,"Jason reminded him. "Piper can turn beautiful and charm people into giving her BMWs. You're no more a freak than we are. And, hey, maybe you can fly, too. Like jump off a building and yell 'Flame on!'"Leo snorted. "If I did that, you would see a flaming kid falling to his death, and I would be yelling something a little stronger than 'Flame on!"

"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."