#humor

"Do little pink fairies sing and dance in your world, Peabody?""Sometimes, when it's very quiet and no one else can see."

"North Dakota Haiku "My bib overallslook spiffy at a weddingor a funeral."

"No, I do my torturing in the dungeon like any other respectable castle owner,"

"It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets."

"There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'""The mood will pass, sir."

"The truth is, every son raised by a single mom is pretty much born married. I don't know, but until your mom dies it seems like all the other women in your life can never be more than just your mistress."

"What in the blue star-blazes did you see in Jason?"he asked, still forcefully but with his frustration and jealousy under better control."For one thing, Djetth, he wasn't trying to kill me!"("Marsh", heroine of Insufficient Mating Material)"

"Going round and around inside a dryer can be fatal, whereas pasta is rarely fatal. Unless Isabelle makes it."

"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."

"In the long run, even a marathon looks like a sprint. This is how I can love with such Roger Bannisteresque intensity."

"United Negro College Fund: A mind is a terrible thing to waste... ...and so is your paycheck,so don't waste good money on a lost cause."

"Rachel: You're a half-blood, too?Annabeth: Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about?Rachel: Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god!...They don't seem to care."

"I may not be able to remember your name, but I remember your address and what time you leave in the mornings. Your name isn’t Rob, is it?"

"Winning vs. Losing [10w] Too often the cost of winning is losing your soul."

"For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is "Never break into someone else's house.' The moral of 'Snow White' is 'Never eat apples.' The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand."

"Love may make you feel blue, love may make you feel green, and sometimes love may even make you feel turquoise or teal. Depression and envy get all the pretty shades of description, and I love that, but in a pink/purple kind of way."

"[In the Universe it may be that] Primitive life is very common and intelligent life is fairly rare. Some would say it has yet to occur on Earth."

"Name the different kinds of people,’ said Miss Lupescu. ‘Now.’Bod thought for a moment. ‘The living,’ he said. ‘Er. The dead.’ He stopped. Then, ‘... Cats?’ he offered, uncertainly."

"I might have known,” said Eeyore. “After all, one can’t complain. I have my friends. Somebody spoke to me only yesterday. And was it last week or the week before that Rabbit bumped into me and said ‘Bother!’. The Social Round. Always something going on."

"I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled."