#humor

"In a totally sane society, madness is the only freedom."

"Freedom [10w] You've never experienced freedom until you have nothing to lose."

"Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway."

"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice."

"Scientists need to invent a way to make DNA work like in cartoons."

"I [10w] 'I' is a wellspring in the desertoverflowing with life."

"Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for."

"We have seen the best minds of our generation destroyed by boredom at poetry readings."

"Exactly!"said Deep Thought. "So once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means."

"I have always loved camping, ever since I was eight, and was forcibly stuffed in a trunk and dropped off in the middle of the forest. My dad was a complex man, but I believe he was trying to show me the value of camping."

"You used nunchucks on a moose?"Wolfe got a haunted look in his eyes. "I used all sorts of things on that bastard."

"Selfie [10w] For the millennial generationa selfie is a family portrait."

"I couldn't claim that I was smarter than sixty-five other guys--but the average of sixty-five other guys, certainly!"

"Vacations for Souls [10w] When souls are bored in Heaven they vacation in Hell."

"I like to spoon after I fork."

"I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want you to promise me that you're okay with that, because it's who I am, and you're what I need."

"All right,"Clara said. "We have our swordsman, so let's get moving. Brigan, could you attempt, at least, to make yourself presentable? I know this is a war, but the rest of us are trying to pretend it's a party."

"Patience [10w] Patience is the most technologically advanced form of energy efficiency."

"Jonesing [10w] Is it odd of me that I'm Jonsesing for strange?"

"But there is in everything a reasonable division of labour. I have written the book, and nothing on earth would induce me to read it."