#humor

"I don't want to be a man,"said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead.""Well,"said Luke, "you're doing a fantastic job."

"I don't have a lot of domestic instincts,"Ranger said to me, his attention fixing on the unidentifiable glob in my hair, "but I have a real strong urge to take you home and hose you down."I went dry mouth. Connie bit into her lower lip, and Lula fanned herself with a file."

"The nuclear arms race is like two sworn enemies standing waist deep in gasoline, one with three matches, the other with five."

"Ask us no questions and we’ll tell you no lies."

"A little part of me dies every time I try to commit suicide. If life is a buffet, I’m still in the mac and cheese phase. Maybe one day I’ll mature into more of a meatloaf kind of guy."

"You're Hell's Angels, then? What chapter are you from?''REVELATIONS. CHAPTER SIX."

"Anyone can speak Troll. All you have to do is point and grunt."

"TANDAAN: mahirap mafriendzone, pero madali lang gumanti!"

"I didn’t tackle him. I gave him a flying hug. Sometimes love is up in the air until it hits you."

"Snow is not microwave friendly. In fact, snow is not too friendly at all, unless you first buy it a few beers. Then it’s just downright slutty."

"Kansas State Motto Ad astra per aspera. [9]Flat land and flatline intelligence."

"they=""use=""to=""be=""so=""sweet"=""[10w]=""Parent's should celebrate change in their children;they're growing up."

"Yes Headwoman Azaze. But I never lie to Rosethorn. She, um, discourages it.""Evvy and I have an understanding."She grabbed the teakettle and poured hot water into the mug. "She tells me the truth, and I don't hang her in the first well we come to. It's a solution that works tolerably well for both of us."

"I think a cool #startup would be a company that makes Finish line tape, for marathons. In the long run, it could be very profitable."

"Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes."

"Cael, come on. Stop licking the dude. That's gross."Letty let out a snort. "Please, like you don't lick dudes.""That's different,"Dex explained with a grimace. "None of those dudes were Ash. Besides, last time I checked, Ash was allergic to nuts."

"I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way...”“Yes, they do that,” said Dumbledore."

"I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones."

"Intelligent men are dangerous."

"Ever heard of the rule of three? he shouts as we run.No!If you save somebody's life three times, their life belongs to you. You saved my life today, that makes once. Save it twice more an I'm all yers."