#humor

"Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."

"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."

"Lotto If I won a million bucks in Lotto,I'd give it to Charity.Charity gives great head."

"Suffer love! A good ephitet! I do suffer love indeed, for I love thee against my will."

"He’s right-handed, so I told him to draw his self-portrait with his left hand, because it’d look so ugly it’d look realistic. Since he’s a DC politician, I figured a little reality was needed in his life."

"Trance & Instinct The best poems come from trance and instinct;transcribing the unedited voice of universal consciousness."

"Babe!"

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

"Now, Max, I think we both know your parents aren't missionaries."I opened my eyes wide. "No? Well, for God's sake, don't tell them. They'd be crushed. Thinking they're doing the Lord's work and all."

"I want to end global hunger by feeding half the world’s starving people to the other half."

"Time [10w] {Couplet} Can there be more callous crimethan unkindly killing time?"

"I had a dream about you last night... you kept meowing at people and licking yourself it was not unlike you normally."

"Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship."

"Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one."

"Great earrings would be little speakers, so she can hear better. Or maybe she just wasn’t listening all those times I told her I loved her."

"Hello, Minister!"bellowed Percy, sending a neat jinx straight at Thicknesse, who dropped his wand and clawed at the front of his robes, apparently in awful discomfort. "Did I mention I'm resigning?"

"Hung [10w] Being caught with your pants down is a hanging offense."

"Well, that's your opinion, isn't it? And I'm not about to waste my time trying to change it."

"She'll be back,"Ranger said. "But not tonight."[Stephanie] "How'd you get her to leave?""Told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining you for all other men, and so she might as well go home."I could feel the heat rush to my face.Ranger gave me the wolf smile. "I lied about it being tonight,"he said."

"Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs."