#humor

"You could start a fire with the heat between you two.""You're mistaking bitter animosity for heartfelt affection."

"Well, spit on my empty grave--if it ain't the attack of the Disney princesses!"

"I’m not courageous. In fact, when I shadow box I wear boxing gloves that are outfitted with flashlights."

"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right."

"The idea of being strong for someone else having never entered their heads, I find myself in the position of having to console them. Since I'm the person going in to be slaughtered, this is somewhat annoying."

"Let love find you. Don’t go looking for it. The best way to attract a mate is to post an ad on Craigslist titled, “Have lube, will travel."

"Good vs. Great [10w] To be good twice is a true mark of greatness."

"Knees suddenly weak, she reached for his forearms to stabilize herself. “You came for me.”He beamed, looking for all the world like a selfless, daring hero.“Don’t sound so surprised.” Dropping the cane, he pulled her into a crushing embrace that tore her away from Wolf and lifted her clean off the floor. “It turns out you are worth a lot of money on the black market."

"Believe me, It would be better if we didn't meet again. Go back to school. Go back to your life. And next time they ask you, say no. Killing is for grown-ups and you're still a child."

"Meaning what? We're going to pretend nothing's going on? That's stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out in the open."Have you been watching Oprah again?"

"So many FREAKS and not enough CIRCUSES!"

"Drunken men give some of the best pep talks."

"If everyone wants to be somebody, I want to be somebody else"

"I'm trying to make some sense out of the phrase "Everything happens for a reason,"and I think I've figured out what the reason is - to pissed me off."

"I’m famous for my Shepherd’s Pie. Here’s my recipe: lamb, potatoes, cheese, peas, paprika, and a wool-covered apron for the chef/shepherd/wolf-like politician to wear while serving the sheeple up."

"Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, until it stops beating. Getting ripped out of the chest tends to have that effect."

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"Aujourd'hui, on cherche partout à répandre le savoir; qui sait si, dans quelques siècles, il n'y aura pas des universités pour rétablir l'ancienne ignorance?"

"While I've never read Scientific American, I'll bet it is pretty scientific. And American. Just like those prehistoric cave drawings in the south of France."