#humor

"Hearts can't be broken because they're made of marzipan."

"He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo."

"Jace's eyes sparkled, but he said calmly, "Not at all. the Silent Brothers can help her retrieve her memories.""You hate the Silent Brothers,"protested Isabelle."I don't hate them,"said Jace candidly."I'm afraid of them. It's not the same thing.""I thought you said they were libarians,"said Clary."They are librarians."Simon whistled. "Those must be some killer late fees."

"French name, English accent, American school. Anna confused."

"Six-Pack [10w] A six-pack of beer's inversely proportional to six-pack of abs."

"Cause I'm Irish, and everyone remembers me."

"Things on the essential list: vodka, Nine Inch Nails, a steady supply of mortal men, and an all-purpose bitchy attitude."

"You know, poets and songwriters have long known that people like repetition. You know, poets and songwriters have long known that people like repetition. I guess when I say people, I mean everyone but my Grandfather. He hated anything that was so monotonous as repetition. That’s why he loathed walking so much. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, and on and on."

"If you own the most profitable manure distribution warehouse in the world, you might not like the smell of success."

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person."

"Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um – they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?"

"Brownie Mix [10w] + {Couplet} Betwixt hell and the River Styx,I'll be shitting bricks."

"Everything in this room is edible. Even I'm edible. But, that would be called canibalism. It is looked down upon in most societies."

"I'll go,"he said."And that's safer because?""I'm a guy.""Right, and having a pair of dingle balls makes you invincible how?"

"Don't blame me. Tell your mom to move closer. Tell her there's this new club called civilization and you guys should join."

"There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope."

"A love story in six words: Hello. Goodbye. In between was marriage."

"Kira: L, do you knowGods of deathlove apples?L: Damn you, Kira..."

"Recipe for Love [10w] Recipe for love:compatibilityattraction ~just add penis and stir."

"You can’t win in love. But if you could, I’d be the clear victor. Vodka is also clear, and I must be drunk."