#humor

"I want to make something of myself. I believe it’s called a statue."

"Hale."Kat sighed. "The headmaster's car? Really? That's not to cliched for you?"What can I say?"He shrugged. "I'm an old-fashioned guy. Besides, it's a classic for a reason."He leaned against the window. "It's good to see you, Kat."Kat didn't know what to say. It's good to see you, too? Thanks for getting me kicked out? Is it possible you've gotten even hotter? I think I might have missed you?"

"Why couldn't you turn into a fireball when we were on the same team!"

"My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun."

"My currency is kindness, and while there are no ATMs that dispense it, it’s also not accepted or recognized at strip clubs."

"A radio in a song in an ice cream cone. Two licks for free, and the third is for sale. My favorite flavor tastes like a commercial, because it’s made with 100% natural advertisement."

"Vices [10w] Cultivate vices;to be without them is not to be."

"Ever heard of the rule of three? he shouts as we run.No!If you save somebody's life three times, their life belongs to you. You saved my life today, that makes once. Save it twice more an I'm all yers."

"If I found 20 dollars on the ground, I’d be willing to bet I’d find someone in desperate need of money that I could give it to. And I’d bet 20 dollars, so even after finding and giving away 20 dollars, I’d have made 20 dollars."

"Alone [10w] Alone in bed because of three wordsI hadn't said."

"What Children See [10w] "A spider is an octopus who lives in the desert."

"No. Don't distract me with your sexy talk."

"Just relax and breathe through your ass."

"Before I speak, I have something important to say."

"You're a stalker with hooves.""I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing."

"Preston, I don't think this creature could ever find its way into your head. Quite apart from anything else, it seems pretty crowded and complicated to me."

"Sex had been amazing, but it wasn't a magical cure for everything. Damn. Somewhere along the way, I'd picked up common sense."

"The Fate of Prodigies [10w] Early to peak, early to deal with obsolescence and obscurity."

"YOU FEAR TO DIE?"It's not that I don't want... I mean, I've always...it's just that life is a habit that's hard to break..."

"Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company."