#humor

"Love with all your heart. And the rest of your body. Oh, and your mind, too."

"I pet horses and ride cats, because I’m a cowman. I’m too mature to be a cowboy."

"Love vs. Mental Illness [10w] Love, like mental illness, comes on graduallyand then suddenly."

"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."

"If your dreams seem to be drifting away, wake up!"

"What I'm expecting is for you to behave like the gentleman I always thought you were."

"I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland."

"Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one."

"I don’t know what I’ll do until I know what you’ll do. I’m proactive with my preemptive reactive strategy."

"Opportunity Knocks: China When opportunity knocksthe Chinese make knock-offs."

"There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal."

"The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be."

"Too many abused beers have suffered in the name of networking. Let us find a better way to mix torture and business."

"Objective Journalism Foreign journalists will always compromise objectivity to preserve relationships that give them better access."

"Busch Beer: Head for the mountains... [10w] ...and fall off the precipice shitfaced."

"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."

"She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her."

"Moths,"repeats Will. "You're afraid of moths?""Not just a cloud of moths,"she says, "like...a swarm of them. Everywhere. All those wings and legs and..."She shudders and shakes her head."Terrifying,"Will says with mock seriousness. "That's my girl. Tough as cotton balls.""Oh, Shut up."

"HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death)"

"When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout."