humor

"Well, that's your opinion, isn't it? And I'm not about to waste my time trying to change it."

"I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity."

"The first ten million years were the worst,"said Marvin, "and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline."

"You can’t win in love. But if you could, I’d be the clear victor. Vodka is also clear, and I must be drunk."

"I wholesale wholesome, and sometimes I even halfsale it. But even when I halfsale, I still charge 100%. That’s the Zeno Discount."

"I think a cool #startup would be a company that makes Finish line tape, for marathons. In the long run, it could be very profitable."

"I think bands, when they're on the road, they keep their sanity by developing an internal sense of humor."

"Now Darkstripe,' Graypaw hissed to Firepaw under his breath, 'is neither young, nor pretty."

"Well, the most terrible fear that anybody should have is not war, is not a disease, not cancer or heart problems or food poisoning - it's a man or a woman without a sense of humor."

"That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery."

"This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humor section."

"We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment."

"My dad was a very funny man - he's the one who taught me life would be awfully hard without humor! I'm sure his Irish wit in some way influenced my decision to become an actress."

"An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup."

"We lay there and looked up at the night sky and she told me about stars called blue squares and red swirls and I told her I'd never heard of them. Of course not, she said, the really important stuff they never tell you. You have to imagine it on your own."

"We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you"

"In business, there are times when you disagree, and sometimes it turns out that you're just plain wrong. Humor takes away tension and helps you realize you're wrong."

"Congratulations!Today is your day.You're off to Great Places!You're off and away!"

"I have great respect for my parents. I got such beautiful things from both of them. It doesn't mean that we didn't have our rough times, but they were remarkable people who were open-minded, creative and hard-working, and had great senses of humor."

"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."