humor

"I'm calm,"Rachel insisted. "Every time I'm around you, some monsters attack us. What's to be nervous about?""Look,"I said. "I'm sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you our or anything.""Nah. They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb.""Was it hard?"Annabeth asked."

"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do just as well — you just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference."

"A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it."

"Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment."

"I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you're not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture."

"Regardless of what I think about Islam or Wicca or any other religion, the fact is that it's a group of people. Every faith has its ceremonies. And since it's made up of people, every faith also has its assholes."

"The polls indicated that I was feisty, that I was tough, that I had a sense of humor, but they weren't quite sure if they liked me and they didn't know whether or not that I was sensitive."

"Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business."

"I think being funny is not anyone's first choice."

"Is it easier to get you to do what I want with a fist to your face, or a gentle pat on the back and a handshake? Let this be a lesson in power."

"If you can't feel, why did you kiss me?"Patch traced a finger along my collarbone, then headed south stopping at my heart. I felt it pounding through my skin. "Because I feel it here, in my heart,"he said quietly."

"I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking"

"The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it."

"You know how spooky Ashwini is. She called an hour ago to tell me she has a secret stash of handheld grenade launchers she thought I might want to know about. My response was, 'What the fuck?"

"Tony and I had a good on and off screen relationship, we are two very different people, but we did share a sense of humor, we now live in different parts of the world but when we find ourselves in the same place it is more or less as if there had been no years in between."

"A lollygagger is a person choking on a lollipop. That works perfectly, because I sell Heimlich Maneuvers in a variety of flavors."

"I just rely on natural talent,"said Adrian, strolling up to the start of the Dragon's Lair. "When you have such a wealth of it to draw from, the danger comes from having too much."

"They turned to Angel. "We will call you Little One,"the leader said, obviously deciding to dispense with the whole confusing name thing."Okay,"said Angel agreeably. "I'll call you Guy in a White Lab Coat."He frowned."That can be his Indian name,"I suggested."

"Yes, boys are a little like shoes. Why? Well...They can be useful. But mainly...They are nice to look at. Getting the right one can be a lovely accessory to an outfit. There are times when you couldn't do without them. And there are times when you'd rather do without them. Get the wrong ones and they can hurt. There are many types and often the ones that look the nicest are completely unpractical."

"I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious."