#Funny

"I also don't trust Caribou anymore. They're out there, on the tundra, waiting... Something's going down. I'm right about this."

"To this day, I've found that it doesn't matter what a guy looks like if he's really funny. His sense of humor makes him attractive. On the other hand, you don't hear men saying, 'No she's not pretty, but is she ever funny!'"

"Writing humor for me is more like a watchful-ness. You have to watch. When you say something funny, or someone else does, it's more like you wait for the piece."

"You might not believe this, but there is no one like her at this school.""Oh I believe it,"I said, thinking back to the time Angeline had forgotten her locker's combination and tried to get into it with an axe.No one was really sure where she'd gotten it from."

"Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it."

"I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never give him any mail. Maybe he will appreciate the thought, or maybe he will feel I am making more work for him."

"I went out to eat on a restaurant’s opening night. It was packed! I guess people heard I’d be dining there and came to adore me."

"But that quickly faded, and he frowned. "You're bleeding,"he said. "What happened?"Claire sighed and held up her wrist to show him the bandage. "Man, you would be so embarrassed if I said it was something else."Michael looked blank. "I'm a girl, Michael, it could have been all natural, you know. Tampons?"

"If my name were C. Ross, I’d definitely be religious."

"If I weren’t too proud, I’d boast of my exaggerated opinion of myself."

"Love is you wearing her favorite shirt of yours, just like you did yesterday and the day before. And the day before that too."

"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."

"I passed out from stress? That’s it?”“I believe the princess term is fainted,” said Thorne."

"You can't be funny if you don't have good material."

"Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live"... or "It's a boy!"

"In high school I tried out for the spelling team, but only because I really wanted a letter jacket."

"[novan]: bassists are very good with their fingers[novan]: and some of us sing backup vocals, so that means we're good with our mouths too...(~ IM chat with Novan Chang, 18, bassist)"

"Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it."

"My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored."

"I want to say something so embarrassing about September that even the leaves start blushing and turning red."