#humor

"When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first, that way in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side."

"It's lovely. If only you could frost someone to death.""Don't be so superior. You can never tell what you will find in the arena. Say it's a gigantic cake-"

"EVERYTHING NOT FORBIDDEN IS COMPULSORY"

"There's More Than Two Choices [10w] Don't take the road less traveled;blaze your own path."

"Pun vs. Puny [10w] + {Couplet} "His penis was a pun,judging by the predictable groans.The hours set by innuendos,the seconds by the moans."

"It'd Be a Lot Cooler If You Did."

"We have now left Reason and Sanity Junction. Next stop, Looneyville."

"You're not a woman,"he said finally. "You're the Grim Reaper with red hair!"

"I liked you, cop. From the moment I met you. No… not the first moment. I wanted to kill you when I first met you. But then I liked you. A lot."

"When people ask me how I slept, I tell them I don’t know—I’ll have to ask The Professor, and read his notes on my performance."

"You forget, darling.I am the local psychopath."

"Err [10w] My dear, "To err is human — to forgive, to redefine."

"That dress…was a very, very good decision. I could write an entire poem on the virtues of your legs alone. You are a feast for the senses.” I laughed. “I don’t know about a feast. Maybe just an hors d'oeuvre.” He took my hand and wrapped it around his arm. “Not an hors d'oeuvre. The dessert. And I plan to spoil my appetite."

"I wholesale wholesome, and sometimes I even halfsale it. But even when I halfsale, I still charge 100%. That’s the Zeno Discount."

"Men drive off bridges and drink too much because of women like you."

"Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal."

"Huging my pillow to my chest, I told myself, At least soon you won't have so much time to miss him. Soon school will start again, and then you'll be busier. Wait. Am I reduced to HOPING for school to start? Somehow, I have discovered a whole new level of pathetic."

"Hey, I am thinking of it myself, in this part of world (East), we all do endeavors in praying and are sweating (white liquid) and this is our situation, frustrated , but on the other part of world (West) ,they are enjoying in party and drinking liquor (white liquid) but their situation is that, successful, I do not know that the problem relates to the type of liquid or the way of drinking!!"

"Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe."

"For those who like that sort of thing,"said Miss Brodie in her best Edinburgh voice, "That is the sort of thing they like."