#humor

"Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory."

"Your stepfather? I'd like to meet him."Oh no... why?"I'm not sure that's a good idea."Christian unlocks the door, his mouth in a grim line."Are you ashamed of me?""No!"It's my turn to sound exasperated. "Introduce you to my dad as what? 'This is the man who deflowered me and wants to start a BDSM relationship'. You're not wearing running shoes."

"...ducks and geese are foolish things, and must be looked after, but girls can take care of themselves."

"Lost vs. Lost We get lost twice in life.The first stems from uncertainty,when we try to find what our dreams truly are.The more profound feeling of being lost is existential, and comes unforeseen, after we finally fulfill our dreams.To survive the latter, we must create an entirely new set of dreams."

"Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that."

"Where the Fuck is Waldo Even whens I finds Waldothat crackhead nigga won't cough up the five dollars he owes me."

"Jenks enthusiastically leaned against the counter and opened the box. Bypassing the plastic knife, he broke off about a third of it and took a huge bite. Ivy watched, appalled, and I shrugged. His mouth moving as he hummed, Jenks finished unpacking the sacks. I was half dead, Ivy was whoring herself to keep me safe, but Jenks was okay as long as he had chocolate."

"To answer your question, you want me because I'm made of awesome."

"Hatred is a Simple Child Hatred is a simple child nurtured and coddled in a raging heart and then released into a crowd of innocents wearing a suicide vest."

"When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?"it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."

"Rules and school are tools for fools! I don't give two mules for rules."

"Any fool can make a ruleAnd any fool will mind it."

"I want to make something of myself. I believe it’s called a statue."

"Coins [10w] Statesmen whose faces are on coins are amenable to change."

"Every night I sleep like a log. In a lit fireplace. If you bring the marshmallows, I’ll bring the burning desire for you."

"Beating the Language Like a Tom-Tom with a Mohawk "Actually, you will receive a free pre-owned gift with every purchase,irregardless of the awesome enormity of your stupidity."

"Love is a circular emotion that surrounds you, like a hug. Or a noose."

"I’ll finish the bottle of wine, while you finish what you were saying about how good it is. If you waste no words, I’ll waste no time."

"God Created [10w] Lips were created to kiss and hands to make peace."

"Tried living in the real world instead of a shell, but I was bored before I even began."