#humor

"Don't run I never liked fast food"

"Which of us is happy in this world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?"

"Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could listen in a cutting way. She could make something sound stupid just by hearing it."

"Hell may have all the best composers, but heaven has all the best choreographers."

"Sometimes we can focus so much on nothing that we make it a big something of nothing"

"I dance so fluid you’d think I’m a fish. I don’t need to drink to be able to dance—I am the drink. Have a sip and find out for yourself."

"I’m late to dinner, but I’m early to being in love. I’m such a gentleman that I hold every door open—even if the guy sitting in the bathroom stall is protesting."

"I leave my door locked and unlocked. You know, for stopportunities. As a lover, I’ve been known—and unknown—to be like Zeno."

"Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding."

"Evey Hammond: Who are you? V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask. Evey Hammond: Well I can see that. V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is"

"When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance."

"Let's get physical, physical [10w] All physical contact is meaningful,even if meaningful means sleazy."

"The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind."

"There's always a but. It's a magical word. You can say anything you want, go on for as long as you want, and then all you have to do is add the magic word and instantly everything you said is erased, turned meaningless, just like that."

"When jumping is the sole option, you jump, and try to make it work."

"Respect doesn’t have to be shiny. It just needs to be wearable. Would you be so kind as to hold my jockstrap while I stir your hot coffee?"

"Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered in sap and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors where it is harder to get a splinter."

"I’m more terrified of failure than rejection—so I’ll no my way to YES!"

"I’m just going to keep plugging away until I find success—or an electrical socket that works. This is the secret to gaining worldly power."

"The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses, not tricycles, I shot him. Of course, I waited until another gunslinger gunned him down, but nevertheless, I still shot him."