Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"A window—it’s more entertaining than TV. Just ask a cat looking out, or a man looking in on a life he desires."

"Once a Ponce a time she made me feel like a conquistador. Now her memory is just a breeze seen in swaying Spanish moss."

"I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home."

"If you don't think you need to develop your personal brand, my advice for you comes in the wisdom of two road signs: STOP; DEAD END."

"I loved how your cheeks had a natural rouge, like a delicate rose, and I was a rogue full of thorns. I was only a flower when I was with you."

"I’m so restless when I rest that I make sleepwalkers look like statues. If The Thinker could run 26.2 miles, it would need a baseball glove to catch me."

"The truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it, the more somebody is going to get hurt."

"If you were to ask me what’s under my bed, I’d tell you shoes. They’re brown, and they’re still attached to the body that’s been decomposing there since I hid it three days ago."

"The scent of success, it smells like body odor."

"Love burns. Whiskey burns. George Burns. What do all three have in common? They’re all dead to me."

"I'm about to get my grind on. My coffee grind. Like a true hustler."

"To know is good, but to know how to use that knowledge is better. And to acknowledge the wisdom in this is the best."

"I have always loved camping, ever since I was eight, and was forcibly stuffed in a trunk and dropped off in the middle of the forest. My dad was a complex man, but I believe he was trying to show me the value of camping."

"Love isn’t in a hurry like a flurry of flowery words on paper. It’s lush and slow to grow its aroma in the garden of time."

"He’s right-handed, so I told him to draw his self-portrait with his left hand, because it’d look so ugly it’d look realistic. Since he’s a DC politician, I figured a little reality was needed in his life."

"Most people go to networking events to gain visibility. But in a crowded room, I’m trying to figure out how to become invisible. I network like the ghost of a chameleon."

"I need to be gentler, I said definitively to myself, as I clenched my fist and shook it in the air. Love takes flight like two powerful wings, but hits like a collection of feathers."

"Once a Ponce a time she made me feel like a conquistador. Now her memory is just a breeze seen in swaying Spanish moss."

"Hard at work? I’ll give you a hand—my right hand. It’s a handshake, for networking and encouragement purposes. Keep it up!"

"Before the NSA there was the Catholic Church. What is confessional if not a place to gather secrets? No wonder the church had all the power."