Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’ll sit on a soda and drink a sofa. It’s just healthier. You should see how I make love. Show starts at 8:00. Tickets are ten bucks at the window."

"He said he wanted to trade lives with me, saying he wanted what I have. He must want for nothing, because that’s exactly what I have."

"0 plus 100 equals 100. But so does 50 plus 50, only with more balance. Let this be a lesson in love."

"Most kids start talking by age two. I didn't say a word until I was twelve. I was just angry and defiant I guess. My first word wasn't "Mom"or "Dad."It was "No."

"White letters plus white paper equals invisibility. Just because you can’t see my love for you, doesn’t mean I didn’t write about it."

"The word very will vary in muchiness. I love you very much, and that won’t vary from day to day."

"I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don’t work there, I tell them I’d like to. But not today, as I’m sick."

"I fish the old-fashioned way—with dynamite and screen doors for nets. Don’t be rude—knock before entering the kill zone."

"It takes guts to love with gusto. Most people love as if they wish they were invisible, and then they wonder why their affections go unnoticed."

"Like a ballet dancer, she keeps me on my toes. This dance we're doing, it keeps me so fit I know she's a perfect fit for me."

"2 out of 4 numbers prefer being in the bottom 50 percent. Half of all lovers also prefer being on the bottom."

"Sometimes no words come as a response, only shapes spring to mind. But after you tell me you love me, I can’t very well reply, “Hexagon!"

"My heart is locked away in a cage surrounded by ribs. That’s to protect it, and to keep the world safe. It’s currently serving a life sentence."

"Professional wrestling is a lot like cuddling, I thought as I hugged a tree. As far as lumberjacks go, I’m slow, but when the tree finally falls for me, it falls hard."

"I don’t like my circle of friends, so I’m changing them to a square. Love shapes our lives, so why not shape who we love?"

"An empty coffee cup is full of hope. Now there’s something worth voting for."

"I sleep when I blink. I dream like I love—continuously."

"Wisdom is knowing when you are being patient, and when you are wasting time by waiting."

"The fragrance of romance is gratitude. Nothing says I love you like saying I love you. Sure, it’s better to show your love, but why not also say it?"

"My brain is divided into two butterflies, and both are in love with your rose-shaped heart. If you've got the garden, I've got my whole life."