Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Only a fool would say they’re not a fool. Well, I am not a fool, which is why I say I am a fool."

"My goal is to be as forgiving as a man with amnesia, but love as if I remember and cherish all the things you do that make me smile."

"She brews a bruise on my heart, and drinks it like a beer. She calls it love, but she would, because she’s drunk on my torment."

"I mined my mind, and I found no love. My heart is where excavation yields gold, and if you dig me as much as I dig you, we can both get rich."

"That point in the sky where yellow meets blue, that’s a handshake I want to see at a #networking event. Sunglasses sold separately."

"When two people are cuddled close, they can really warm up one burrito. It may take all night, but I like my cheese melted. #CuddleChampion"

"Love may make you feel blue, love may make you feel green, and sometimes love may even make you feel turquoise or teal. Depression and envy get all the pretty shades of description, and I love that, but in a pink/purple kind of way."

"Nothing carries meaning. People carry meaning. We are the porters of importance."

"Sometimes a symbol holds more power than the thing it represents. Like the symbol for Thing, the one I created that is confusing and abstract and makes people ask, What is that thing? And I always reply, “If you already knew, why did you ask?"

"I can sell you wine and I can sell you flowers, but I can't sell you romance, because that comes from your heart, and it's free."

"Her love used to be my lighthouse, and now it feels like I'm treading water in the dark. I’ll bet as soon as I start swimming, the sun will rise and color the sky with the romance of rose."

"He’s right-handed, so I told him to draw his self-portrait with his left hand, because it’d look so ugly it’d look realistic. Since he’s a DC politician, I figured a little reality was needed in his life."

"I drank so much booze I was bamboozled. Alcohol makes my mind as discombobulated as love makes my heart. I’d sure appreciate it if you poured me a large glass of romance."

"Let me just pause a minute and drink in this moment. And if you film it, I’ll be able to get free refills for life."

"I'm hanging on to her memory like Spanish moss on an ancient Florida oak, and unlike the sunset, my love won't fade."

"To show you I love you, I bought you an antique watch. You can tell it's old because it doesn't even work. I got a great deal on it."

"As a fiction writer, let me make it up, and let me make it up to you. I’ll pen our love story, if you’ll be my co-author."

"Flowers are aromatic and romantic, and they grow exactly the way love does—with plenty of light, and watered with affection."

"The salesman said the sale was happening because all the gizmos in the store had to be liquidated. It was a lot of solidfluid, and I would have bought something, but the only thing I was thirsty for was her love."

"I love letting her know how much she means to me. A love in secret is but a shadow that’s cold and lonely."