funny

"I wouldn’t even be the “world’s sexiest man” if the planet were populated entirely by my clones."

"When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl stares and kitten curls."

"I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen."

"I'll get them out and come back. I promise.""On your word as a cutthroat and a pirate?"He touched my cheek once, briefly. "Privateer."Another explosion rocked the grounds."Let's go!"shouted Mal.As we sprinted into the tunnel, I glanced back and saw Nikolai silhouetted against the purple twilight. I wondered if I'd ever see him again."

"I coiled my empty straw wrapper around like a snake. Then I bit it before it could bite me. My love is as dangerous as my drinking habits."

"Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up?"All the time."

"Leave the cage open. If you love someone, give them a chance to leave. You can always lock them up again should they return to you."

"If god meant for people to talk into cellphones, he would've put our mouths on the side of our heads."

"I’m not aspiring to be someone else – If I’m me for the rest of my life then so be it"

"I like to see people reunited, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can't tell fast enough, the ears that aren't big enough, the eyes that can't take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone."

"Are you implying that shreds of my reputation remain intact?"Will demanded with mock horror. "Clearly I have been doing something wrong. Or not something wrong, as the case may be."He banged on the side of the carriage. "Thomas! We must away at once to the nearest brothel. I seek scandal and low companionship."

"Love is a bicycle with two pancakes for wheels. You may see love as more of an exercise in hard work, but I see it as more of a breakfast on the go."

"Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it."

"I applied for your love like a recent MBA grad might apply at Walmart today. I grew a beard on my chest and laughed through my ass just to get your attention."

"Shane looked…pale. Pale and shaken and—how predictable was this?—pissed."

"When I die, I want them to bury me facedown and ass up so that the whole world can kiss my ass!"

"Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can."

"The cure for boredom is curiosity.There is no cure for curiosity."

"My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health."

"Stairs,"Valkyrie said, disappointed."Not just ordinary stairs,"Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. "Magic stairs.""Really?""Oh, yes."She followed him into the darkness. "How are they magic?""They just are.""In what way?""In a magicky way."She glared at the back of his head. "They aren't magic at all, are they?""Not really."