funny

"All right I think we've been down here in the dark long enough. There's a whole other world upstairs. Take my hand Constant Reader and I'll be happy to lead you back into the sunshine. I'm happy to go there because I believe most people are essentially good. I know that I am. It's you I'm not entirely sure of."

"He thinks things through too much."

"The easiest way to get from point A to point B is with a vehicle that runs on alphabet soup."

"But there's a juicy artery in your groin,"he said after a pause to regroup, his voice as slithery as a snake on a slide."Don't you talk dirty,"I told him. "I won't listen to that."

"what matters most is how well you walk through the fire"

"Yes, I'm back,"he said, "And look who I ran into."Horace grinned at him. "i hope you ran into him hard.""As hard as I could."

"I’m a Pisces, and people say that Pisces make the best the best lovers. That’s because Pisces are fish, and it’s like my grandpa always used to say, “The next best thing to making love to a mermaid, is having sex with a fish."

"Huh, another queen,” Puck mused, an evil grin crossing his face. “Maybe we should drop in and introduce ourselves, ice-boy. Do the whole, hey, we were just in the neighborhood, and we were just wondering if you had any plans to take over the Nevernever. Have a fruit basket."

"When the clock reads 3:00, I don’t call it three o’clock, I call it three hundred, and I remember the Spartans. At 3:01, however, I remember what I was doing at 2:59, and I get back to it."

"Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. “Hey, Dark Princess? Here’s your crap. Also, bite me."

"Meatloaf is meatloaf is not a true statement. You can have gravy on top, ketchup on top, and don’t forget you can also have love on top--however, you must understand that I would do anything, but I won’t do that."

"I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy."

"I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."

"I haven’t spent my time trying to duplicate my success. But only because I haven’t had any yet."

"You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world!"

"She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing… "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty."Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim."

"Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can."

"When I hear Jazz, my first instinct is to lean over to the guy next to me and whisper, "Fourth floor, please."

"Everything I’ve ever done, ever thought, ever experienced, and ever felt, has led me up to this moment in my life. And after accumulating and culminating it, all I can say is, “Ahhhhh!"

"One thing I often get carried away with is piggyback rides."