humor

"Do you realize how hard it is to keep your mind clear when somebody’s telling you to keep your mind clear?"

"'The Sundial' is written with the kind of humor that would make a guillotine laugh."

"My books are shelved in different places, depending on the bookstore. Sometimes they can be found in the Mystery section, sometimes in the Humor department, and occasionally even in the Literature aisle, which is somewhat astounding."

"Everyone is flailing through this life without an owner's manual, with whatever modicum of grace and good humor we can manage."

"There are two MFA programs here at the University of Texas, and I read on the jury of both of them. And it's amazing to me how many really talented young writers seem to fear humor."

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

"I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me."

"Ack!"I said.Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me."

"I still remember her meandering Mississippi kiss. I sipped it like a riverboat captain in the desert. Ah, to be young and naughtily nautical."

"What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with your brother?""Because only Jace can piss someone off that much."

"Those unable to catalog the past are doomed to repeat it."

"I'm a big fan of gallows humor. When my aunt passed away, she was in a coma for a day before my cousins pulled the plug. And the amount of joking and base humor that went on that day around her bed was so insane. It's crazy how people talk when something horrible is happening."

"I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious."

"I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive."

"Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius."

"Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant."

"I don't understand how people canstand next to you one year,and next year, they cannot. They're going crazy, screaming. They can't take it that you're there. But last year I was in the same club,walking around,lonely like a motherfucker. Couldn't get a date or a dance. I was too skinny, too something,and now, "He's just adorable. He's just, oh!"

"I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension."

"If you say ‘we’re in this together,’ I’m going to hurl."

"Almost everything strange washes up near Miami."