humor

"I try to find humor in everything I do, because I think all great plays - even great tragedies - have enormous humor in them."

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."

"Reyna sent me to get Percy,"Frank said. "Did Octavian accept you?""Yeah,"Percy said. "He slaughtered my panda."

"Networking isn’t synonymous with partying. If you’re doing it right, partying seems libraryesque in comparison."

"I'm telling you, you really should stick to mating within your species, whatever that is.''I would,' I said, 'but unfortunately, there are no gorgeous, all-powerful, all-knowing gods around here. I'd even settle for a demigod. It's a step down, I know. But alas, there are nothing but low-brained mortals here. And half-brains, like you."

"Fiction was invented the day Jonah arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale.."

"Everybody in my family had a real sick, twisted sense of humor. Most of the jokes we make in our house, we would just never even dream of making anywhere else. Just sick, horrible stuff. That wasn't anything new to college."

"I grew a garden in her heart. There was plenty of space for flowers, because her heart was completely empty of love."

"It was impossible to get the Dimitri and Tasha thing out of my head, but at least packing and getting ready made sure I didn't devote 100 percent of my brain power to him. More like 95 percent."

"I fish the old-fashioned way—with dynamite and screen doors for nets. Don’t be rude—knock before entering the kill zone."

"My dad is just like everybody else's dad. I see him as kind of a goofy guy with a great sense of humor. I try to get in a battle of wits with him, but he always gets me. I emulate him because I've never seen anyone work as hard as he does."

"As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...]"

"Hey, Carlos,"the Professor says when he walks in. "How was REACH?""It sucked.""Can you be more specific?"my guardian asks."It really sucked,"I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word."

"Do you love him?"There were only a few people in the world who could ask me such insanely personal questions without getting punched. Dimitri was one of them."

"I think it would be hard to go the distance in this business without a sense of humor."

"You don’t need batteries for an introduction. Buy my Networking in a Box today and see for yourself. (Handshakes sold separately.)"

"I look up to say something but he puts his finger to my lips and whispers, “Don’t talk. You’ll just spoil my fantasy of rescuing an innocent damsel in distress as soon as you open your mouth."

"You can run from the grave, but you can't hide."

"Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?"

"I called his broken promise heartbreaking, and he called it growing up. Oh, that’s mature—blame it on maturity."