humor

"Simon: So were you following me? Or is it just an amazing coincidence that you happened to be on the roof of a building I was walking by when I got attacked?Jace: I was following you.Simon: Is this the part where you tell me you're secretly in love with me?"

"With humor, it's so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy."

"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."

"Mistletoe,"said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry's head. He jumped out from under it. "Good thinking,"said Luna seriously. "It's often infested with nargles."

"There are pockets of wealth in this country. Mostly those pockets are in the politicians’ pants."

"Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder"

"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."

"Well, darkness with humor... I'm not an extremely suicidal or sad person."

"Henry turned as if to dart out of the room, then swung around and stared at them, a look of confusion passing over his freckled face, as if he had only now had cause to wonder why Will, Tessa, and Jem might be crouching together in a mostly disused storage room. "What are you three doing in here, anyway?"Will tilted his head to the side and smiled at Henry. "Charades,"he said. "Massive game."

"I'll do humor about myself, I'll poke fun and everything, but that's me and I can do it to me. I think it's cruel to do it to somebody else."

"I don't have hard numbers about this, but the impression I get is that the amount of eyeballs you get from being on the humor shelf at Barnes & Noble - it is almost insignificant."

"The goodbad news is she only stole half. The badgood news is she stole half. And when it’s love that’s been stolen, a hole the size of half your heart feels like the whole thing has been taken."

"I've got a theory, it could be bunnies...I've got a theor-Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposesThey've got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses.And what's with all the carrots-?What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?Bunnies, bunnies it must be bunnies!...or maybe midgets..."

"Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies."

"Accidental sex. He made it sound like I fell down, and there just happened to be an erection in the way."

"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."

"Oh, goodie,"Puck said as I stepped forward. "I'm going to have a rash in the most uncomfortable places."

"Your job is to focus on my personal happiness, she said, & I've got big plans, so break time is over."

"We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf."

"Wow. When he started looking back on the war with Kronos as the good old days--that was sad."