humor

"Yes, my tiara sets off the whole thing nicely,"said Auntie Muriel in a rather carrying whisper. "But I must say, Ginevra's dress is far too low-cut."Ginny glanced round, grinning, winked at Harry, then quickly faced the front again."

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."

"Read her poetry before you make love to her. That way she’ll be asleep when you do. I’m as romantic as a rocking chair with wheels."

"I don't understand how somebody wouldn't have a sense of humor about themselves."

"Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough."

"I never wanted to do observational humor because I never wanted to tell people what they were seeing."

"I question the equation like an equestrian, and I realize it’s horseshit. What is the equation? Vote=Change."

"Yeah, well, food's one of the five exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfigurations,"said Ron, to general astonishment."

"Beautiful face. Beautiful body. Horrible attitude. It was the holy trinity of hot boys."

"Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know."

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person."

"There’s sleep to be found here, and I’m going to find it—with my eyes closed. I’m like Sherlock Holmes meets Helen Keller. #Networking"

"[Myrnin to Claire about their costumes of Pierrot and Harlequin, respectively]"Don't they teach you anything in your schools?""Not about this.""Pity. I suppose that's what comes of your main education flowing from Google."

"Love is a bronze statue sinking in quicksand. But if I hand you a lasso, will you try to save the statue—or use the lasso to hang yourself? If you need me, I’ll be here to kick the chair out from under your feet."

"Why do people always expect authors to answer questions? I am an author because I want to ask questions. If I had answers, I'd be a politician."

"His hair isn’t turning gray—it’s turning silver, and it’s going up in value. Aging is the best hedge against an inflationary fiat currency."

"You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt"

"Most people go to networking events to gain visibility. But in a crowded room, I’m trying to figure out how to become invisible. I network like the ghost of a chameleon."

"I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation."

"It's never just a game when you're winning."