humor

"My hobbies include rubbing my nipples across a cheese grater, meeting cat ladies on Tinder, and voting for either Democrat or Republican every four years. You could say I am a torture enthusiast."

"The biggest void that people can have in their lives is a sense of humor. Spending your life with someone who doesn't have that wouldn't be palatable."

"The president of General Motors was in a foul humor."

"Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid."

"With Portlandia, I don't think our intention is always to find something funny. Sometimes the humor comes from taking something really seriously. We're okay with making somebody feel uncomfortable or uneasy."

"It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor."

"Boys. I'd turn gay if they weren't so sexy."

"Intelligent men are dangerous."

"Trees shaped like deer should not be ridden like benches if they get stuck up in other trees. No hunting farming allowed. Fishing only."

"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."

"You'd be surprised how many people in the modern age no longer fear zombies as much as teletubies."

"Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way."

"Huh,"Leo said. "Well, if you ever get off this island and want a job, let me know. You're not a total klutz."She smirked. "A job, eh?"Making things in your forge?""Nah, we could start our own shop,"Leo said, surprising himself. Starting a machine shop had always been one of his dreams, but he'd never told anyone about it. "Leo and Calypso's Garage: Auto Repair and Mechanical Monsters."

"Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tyson pounding the Earthborn into the ground like a game of whack-a-mole. Ella was fluttering above him, dodging missiles and calling out advice: "The groin. The Earthborn's groin is sensitive."SMASH!"Good. Yes. Tyson found its groin."

"The sunset faded and blended from pink to peach to mango in a smoothie in the sky. For as long as she doesn’t love me, I will love her."

"Everything I’ve learned about handshakes is from hands-on experience. Due to hygiene, I only network with rubber glove manufacturers."

"I just rely on natural talent,"said Adrian, strolling up to the start of the Dragon's Lair. "When you have such a wealth of it to draw from, the danger comes from having too much."

"The word long is short, and so is the word short, but why is the word love as long as long? Shouldn’t it be longer?"

"I love you because I love you, and if you don’t like it you can use my circular logic as a noose and hang yourself."

"You used nunchucks on a moose?"Wolfe got a haunted look in his eyes. "I used all sorts of things on that bastard."