humor

"Great men are rarely isolated mountain peaks; they are the summits of ranges."

"Oh, dear God and baby Jesus in the manger, my eyes!” Dee shrieked. “My eyes!"

"It’s fascinating. You know all these words, and they’re all English, but when you string them together into sentences, they just don’t make any sense."

"I think I’m mouth blind and that’s why all food tastes bland. The only things that have any flavor are the words I love you."

"Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor."

"Great earrings would be little speakers, so she can hear better. Or maybe she just wasn’t listening all those times I told her I loved her."

"What you see on stage is pretty much the way I am... a dry sense of humor."

"I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking"

"I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite circumstance. I don't want to be a part of a show where it's mostly about coming up with the jokes."

"If you think this Universe is bad, you should see some of the others."

"I try to give all my characters a sense of humor, so I guess I feel like I have done comedy, but maybe I'm better known for drama."

"I often have said that to be a college president, you need a thick skin, a good sense of humor, and nerves like sewer pipes."

"Buy one I love you for $3.99. Buy twelve for $48.00. That’s a savings of twelve cents—directly into my bank account. WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD—Objects not intended for individuals who tend to put forever objects in their mouths."

"Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship."

"Let’s be romantic and dance in the rain. I’ll prove my feelings for you by bringing an umbrella, because I’m drowning in my love for you."

"I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regrettedmost of them, but never the potatoes that went with them."

"It's continuously humbling to work hard, you know? As long as you've got a good work ethic and a sense of humor, I don't think anybody can become too much of an egoist under those circumstances."

"See?” I’d whispered to Bones, nudging him with a grin. “He never argues with her. Isn’t that sweet?”A snort preceded his response. “Keep dreaming, pet."

"In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge."

"I saw this beautiful girl the other day. She had an ass behind her that seemed to go on for days. In fact, I’m still going on about her."