humor

"Almost everything strange washes up near Miami."

"You won't even take your bow? Are you planning to throttle a moose with your bare hands, then?""I've a knife in my boot,"she said, and then wondered, for a moment, if she could throttle a moose with her bare hands."

"To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time."

"When I was little I bragged about my firefighting father: my father would go to heaven, because if he went to hell he would put out all the fires"

"Man is certainly stark mad; he cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens."

"Ginny!"said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain?"

"You haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen zero. You also haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen all the love I have for politicians."

"I like people with a good sense of humor, like Jennifer Aniston. She is amazing and is a great actress."

"My humor is my creativity, and my skepticism is a gift."

"It has often been saidthere’s so much to be read,you never can cramall those words in your head.So the writer who breedsmore words than he needsis making a chorefor the reader who reads.That's why my belief isthe briefer the brief is,the greater the sighof the reader's relief is.And that's why your bookshave such power and strength.You publish with shorth!(Shorth is better than length.)"

"You learn timing on the road. You learn structure and how to read an audience. You learn so much about the business of laughter that you can't learn on a set, because it's all on you. Sometimes you bomb, and you know not to tell that joke again... You just hope people find the humor in the awkwardness."

"There's clearly humor that goes too far and humor that is violative, and we are engaged in our humor in a complex call-and-response with one another. I'm telling you a joke to see if you think that it's funny... but if one of us violates some principle or touches on a particularly tender spot of the other, normally we adjust to that and move on."

"From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere."

"The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense."

"I was a product of a divorced family and I used humor as a weapon to combat sadness. I used comedy to make my mother laugh in light of the darkness that she faced, and to me it became a very powerful tool at a very young age, at six. I saw how therapeutic it could be."

"Asking me if I’m in love is like asking a mortician if now is the best time to die."

"And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny."

"I don't really dissect comedy. Nothing kills off humor more than overanalyzing it."

"I always keep a Ziploc bag in my pocket, and wherever I go I fill up my bag with dirt, because my goal is to be the largest land holder in the world by the time I'm 42."

"Any attempts at humor immediately after September 11th were deemed tasteless."