#drinking

"Snow is not microwave friendly. In fact, snow is not too friendly at all, unless you first buy it a few beers. Then it’s just downright slutty."

"Networking is more quality, and less quantity. It’s better to form a solid connection with one new person, than a liquid connection with ten. You don’t want people to think you drink too much."

"I drank so much booze I was bamboozled. Alcohol makes my mind as discombobulated as love makes my heart. I’d sure appreciate it if you poured me a large glass of romance."

"I'm sober. Yessiree, I quit drinking. I haven't had a beer in four hours. Now I just need some coffee and to get drunk on love poetry."

"I love coffee cake, but I would prefer if it were just a little more drinkable. I almost choked while chugging some this morning, and if it weren’t for the fluid nature of clownfish, I might have caught feelings for Hillary using a basketball net."

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."

"There was a tacit understanding between them that 'liquor helped'; growing more miserable with every glass one hoped for the moment of relief."

"Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses."

"I drink like a fish, and I swim in my thirst. I’m so parched for her love that I think I may drown in my desire."

"Love is something to be treated with awe. Or should it be aww? People don’t know my capacity for love. If you tried to bottle it up, I’m sure it would take at least three thermoses to contain it. And if it did get contained, would you drink my love black, or would you add cream and sugar?"

"I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer."

"Water can be as hard as ice and as soft as fog, which is why my love is so drinkable, because it is fluid and forgiving. It's easy to love until there's nothing left. Eventually, the water runs out, the ice melts, and the fog fades into an abyss.-Jarod Kintz and Karen Quan"

"Networking is drinking the nectar of interconnectedness. And I’ve been drinking since noon, so I may need @ryanlilly to drive me home."

"Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk."

"I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I'm under the table,after four I'm under my host."

"Vodka in the shape of a human body would be an excellent dancing partner. I'm a bring my own chaser kind of lover."

"A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love."

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

"I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom."

"I used the boos, and not the booze, as motivation. That led to applause, which I drank up like an alcoholic. I need a refill."