#Funny

"I was flipping channels, watching this cheerleading program on MTV. They took a field hockey girl and “transformed” her into a cheerleader by the end of the show. I was just wondering: what if she liked field hockey better?"

"hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home,"I say. "Katniss, I live three houses away from you,"he says."

"When I play a game, I want to play, not necessarily laugh. If you try to make me laugh at the expense of interactivity, then you've just created another funny game that isn't very fun. The videogame medium itself is a terrible place for complicated humor, drama, and character development."

"As I was driving down Beach Blvd., I saw a building that said, "Self Storage,"and I thought, "I wonder if my ego could possibly fit in just one unit."

"With Portlandia, I don't think our intention is always to find something funny. Sometimes the humor comes from taking something really seriously. We're okay with making somebody feel uncomfortable or uneasy."

"If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine replaced. That way, it'd be easier to run around on them."

"Your level of neuroses will only find love in a made-for-TV movie."

"The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes."

"It really seems to me that in the midst of great tragedy, there is always the horrible possibility that something terribly funny will happen."

"I think that it's hard for vain people to be funny. I think you can look any way you want as long as you have a good sense of humor about yourself. People who are concerned with their looks and what they're wearing and how they present themselves tend to have less of a sense of humor about themselves."

"What are you"-Mac "I don't follow"-Jericho "You dropped 30 feet in that warehouse. You should have broken something. What are you?"-Mac "A man with a rope."-Jericho"

"Um...is that thing tame?"Frank said.The horse whinnied angrily."I don't think so,"Percy guessed. "He just said, 'I will trample you to death, silly Chinese Canadian baby man'."

"There was the smell of old books, a smell that has a way of making all libraries seem the same. Some say that smell is asbestos."

"The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is...42!"

"When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye."

"I had a missed call. It’s probably the all you can eat buffet calling to say, “Come back! We know you can eat just a little bit more."

"I had a dream about you last night.. You kept screaming at Ted Danson to pour you a drink."

"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."

"Last night I was seriously considering whether I was a bisexual or not but I don’t think so though I’m not sure if I’d like to be and argh I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, if you like a person, you like the person, not their genitals."

"Wow. What'd he do to deserve that? Rescue orphans from a burning building? If so, you might want to make sure he didn't set the building on fire in the first place."