#humor

"I tried to think of something to say. Excuse me? Hello? Marry me? Anything would have done."

"Writer's block is just a symptom of feeling like you have nothing to say, combined with the rather weird idea that you should feel the need to say something. Why? If you have something to say, then say it. If not, enjoy the silence while it lasts. The noise will return soon enough."

"What's with what you're wearing?"Griggs asks while we stand outside waiting for the others."It's pretty hideous, isn't it?"I say."Don't force me to look at it,"he says. "It's see-through."That kills conversation for a couple of seconds."

"I had a dream about you last night.. you were trying to give coordinates to an apple"

"The naked truth is the naked truth isn’t naked—it’s wearing see-thru clothing. My duty as a nudist is to let people see I’m transparent."

"I don't know why it should be, I am sure; but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me."

"Taste [10w] + [10w] "If you have sophisticated taste, you like what I like.If you're a Neanderthal, you will love what I hate."

"Deal or No Deal ~ Deal with It "God, please tell me the place I'm going after I dieis filled with bright eyes and bushy tails, or I'm not going."

"God is silent. Now if only man would shut up."

"Truth {Couplet} Since every truth worth saying, has been already said,our job's to refine it, question it, or turn it on its head."

"To be, or not to be: what a question!"

"Properly practiced, knitting soothes the troubled spirit, and it doesn't hurt the untroubled spirit either."

"What's another word for thesaurus?"

"How did you become blind, uh, Jeff is it?"Yeah, Jeff. Well, I looked directly at the sun, you know, the way they always tell you not to. If only I had listened."

"My heart can hold all the love you give me. If you need to quantify it to properly price it for sale, it would be one gallon."

"In a bookstore you can find me in the romance section, because I’m not a lover, I’m a reader."

"Somalia Haiku For a Somalian, heaven's drawing water from a well in an earthen pot."

"Small Packages [10w] Great things come in small packages from a geological perspective."

"Lenny Bruce I'm going to be rich!I figured out how to get schlong-juice stains off of suede."

"Earth is sad, Moon is shy, Sun is happy but wait a moment, I just forgot to tell you that I am the child of open sky."