#humor

"Wine [10w] American wines tasting as good as French wines are presumptuous."

"Francis Bacon has the most delicious last name ever, followed closely by Johnny Scrambledeggs. I make love like those two guys make breakfast out of family reunions."

"As long as we don't die, this is gonna be one hell of a story."

"Do you always ask me the same questions you ask him?""It depends on whether or not I get an answer."

"Once you finish having sex, what is there to do but start over?"

"She frowned at me. "You need some rest. You look like hell. And you're obviously tired enough to have gotten the giggles."Wizards don't giggle,"I said, hardly able to speak. "This is cackling."

"Why are they all staring?"demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students."Don’t let it worry you,"said Ron. "It’s me. I’m extremely famous."

"My soul left my body, and my body left my clothes and went streaking through the streets."

"Katsa and Po were trying to drown each other and, judging from their hoots of laughter, enjoying it immensely."

"Don't ever trust men with good intentions. They'll always disappoint you."Leo"

"You're a stalker with hooves.""I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing."

"Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty.Chocolate isn't like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant.And it always feels good."

"You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt"

"I was talking aloud to myself. A habit of the old: they choose the wisest person present to speak to"

"The naked truth is the naked truth isn’t naked—it’s wearing see-thru clothing. My duty as a nudist is to let people see I’m transparent."

"I don't know why it should be, I am sure; but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me."

"My love is rare, like a hornless unicorn."

"Different people have different ideas. We need to kill them—the ideas, not the people. The people we just need to torture."

"It's not like there's a law against flying.""Yes there is. The law of gravity."

"Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling."