#humor

"Orion brightened. "I have an idea.""Yes?"said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained."Why don't we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes? Or, if that doesn't work, you could search my naked body for some mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of somewhere or other."

"Bite me, Harry Potter."

"It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them."

"Pepperonis are like edible polkadots. I made you a pizza dress, but I’m ashamed to admit I burned it. I’m afraid you’ll have to dance naked."

"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess."

"What's in a name, anyway? That which we call a nose by any other name would still smell."

"I am a man, and men do not drink pink drinks. Now, be gone, woman, and fetch me something brown."Jace said. "Brown?"said Isabelle."Yes. Brown. It's a manly color. See? Alec is wearing it."Jace said."Well, it was black but it faded."Alec said."Well, I can always fix it up with something sparkly,"Magnus said, holding a sparkley headband. "Resist the urge, Alec, resist the urge."Simon said."

"Did he just rip out the engine?"I asked."Yes", Saiman said. "And now he is demolishing the Maserati with it."Ten seconds later Curran hurled the twisted wreck of black and orange that used to be the Maserati into the wall.The first melodic notes of an old song came from the computer. I glanced at Saiman.He shrugged. "It begged for a soundtrack."

"A Voice from the Past A book is a voice from the past whispering into your ear.Sometime I get the urge to exhume the author's bodyand hit him in the head with a shovel."

"She was the most wonderful woman for prowling about the house. How she got from one story to another was a mystery beyond solution. A lady so decorous in herself, and so highly connected, was not to be suspected of dropping over the banisters or sliding down them, yet her extraordinary facility of locomotion suggested the wild idea."

"Thank You, Adobe [10w] Thanks to Photoshop,a picture isn't worth a single word."

"...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church."

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."

"Bravo,"said Grimalkin, peering down from Cold Tom's chest. "The Winter prince and Oberon's jester agreeing on something. The world must be ending."

"Confucius vs. Confusion [10w] Confucius says if pussy smell like fish change the bait."

"The middle finger is a great body language tool for letting people know you’re upset. Poetry isn’t quite as effective in a fit of road rage."

"You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale."

"Pacifism There's nothing like seeing action in war to turn a soldier into an instant pacifist or an instant killer."

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

"This is a good place,"he said."There's a lot of liquor,"I agreed."