Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’m learning to play the saxophone so when you feel lonely I can come over and stand in the shadows and play it for you. Two is one too lonely for me."

"Meatloaf is meatloaf is not a true statement. You can have gravy on top, ketchup on top, and don’t forget you can also have love on top--however, you must understand that I would do anything, but I won’t do that."

"Do you want some fresh tomato soup to go? I’ll put it in a mesh strainer. Oh, if only love were as easy to contain as soup in a strainer."

"Based on the questions we both answered, we’re a 0% love match. That means we’re 100% compatible, once I enlighten her to the correct perspective on life."

"My sole possession is my passion, for no one can rob me of it. More fiery than love, it does not depend on another to blaze."

"If what you wear says more about who you are then what you say when you speak, then my advice is to keep quiet and wear loud clothing."

"She’s twelve hours in the future, and exactly half a world away. No matter how hard I try, I will always be a part of her past."

"I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife?"

"You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale."

"Are all caps really necessary? No need to shout at me. My hearing is perfect when the words arrive in my mind through my eyes."

"I wrote you a love letter. I used invisible ink to show I was being transparent with my feelings. And also to hide my feelings."

"I’m passionate about being compassionate. It takes a lot to give of yourself, and that’s why it’s such a gift—for both the recipient and the giver."

"I'm all for all for one, especially when I'm the one. That's my philosophy when the dinner bill arrives at the table."

"The scent of success, it smells like body odor."

"Wisdom equals knowledge plus courage. You have to not only know what to do and when to do it, but you have to also be brave enough to follow through."

"I'm about to get my grind on. My coffee grind. Like a true hustler."

"Being a waiter is a waste of time, because think of all that waiting. But it’s better than loving someone who doesn’t love you back, because if you’re going to wait around, you might as well get paid for it."

"I don’t know what I’ll do until I know what you’ll do. I’m proactive with my preemptive reactive strategy."

"A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love."

"Based on the questions we both answered, we’re a 0% love match. That means we’re 100% compatible, once I enlighten her to the correct perspective on life."