Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment."

"Poor is the man who thinks money makes him wealthy. Love is the true treasure, and the more you give away, the more you have."

"Last night my shadow exploded into hundreds of fluttering black birds, foreshadowing my love taking flight under the cover of camouflage."

"Her love was too cold, like an anti-oven. That's called a freezer, and sometimes it burns food. She gave me heartburn, just like coffee, and it really woke me up to the reality of relationships."

"Wherever there’s a gathering of people, there is networking going on. My favorite place to network is the cemetery."

"Love is a bicycle with two pancakes for wheels. You may see love as more of an exercise in hard work, but I see it as more of a breakfast on the go."

"I’d rather sell one thing for one million dollars, than sell one million things for one dollar each. I feel the same about my love and women."

"People tell me I look like my father. I've never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible?"

"I make love like I make coffee. Tuesdays and Thursdays I offer free refills."

"30% of the time I am successful 70% of the time. That’s 100% in my book—a book that happens to have a page count that’s 21% Reduced Fat."

"Losing your mind is preferable to losing your woman, because if you lose your woman you will also lose your mind, and then you’re left with nothing."

"I used to think how lucky she was to have me, but now I realize that’s backwards. A spirit of gratitude yields patience, love, and forgiveness."

"To be angry is easy, but to forgive is hard. That's why to love is easy, and to love is hard. I try to be so hard that I'm soft, like a liquid rock, fluid and forgiving, but unmovable in my resolve."

"In the long run, even a marathon looks like a sprint. This is how I can love with such Roger Bannisteresque intensity."

"I need more frugality. I wonder where I can buy some."

"Why pay for an undesirable outcome with someone else? For the same money, you could have paid me to stay at home and do nothing."

"Networking is like fishing. Just give some beer and a boat and I’ll be in business."

"Hard at work? I’ll give you a hand—my right hand. It’s a handshake, for networking and encouragement purposes. Keep it up!"

"If you want to steal my heart, you must realize it's not a one-time heist. This theft will take every minute of the rest of your life."

"I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife?"